Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

Positive Influence

Someone recently asked the following in a forum:I don't know if I've noticed it more recently b/c I've adopted a more positive lifestyle but I feel I'm becoming a bit intolerant of negative people. I often times find myself trying to pick my friends or family up out of the dumps or to help them shift their negative attitudes into positive ones. I find with certain people they are constantly negative, they play the poor me card and the cloud is always over their head. I'm not one to feel sorry for myself or even complain all that much, I try to always look at the bright side of things but I'm running out of ways to deal with these people that are consistantly negative. If i'm trying to lead a positive, happy, healthy lifestyle, I don't really see a spot for people like this who pretty much just debbie downers. The weather, my job, my life, my lack of love life, me, me, me, why? why? why? Some of these people and situations are avoidable, others, not so much. How do NOT use all of my energy trying to pump them up and inturn end up feeling down about it?

My Reply:I too am trying to live my life as positively as possible. I grew up in a very negative toxic family and feel like a "white sheep amongst a family of black sheep". I used to feel exactly the same way you do :) I am also an overthinker!

What I learned was that I have two options, shut these negative people out or rise above them and try to help out - as much as I can. Why would I want to help? Because I am really lucky that I have the brain I do and why shouldn't I use it to help others!

Now helping others sometimes means just listening. When listening sometimes, I go over my grocery list in my mind, or think about my kids and what we're going to be doing this upcoming weekend. I need to do that because these negative people can go on and on and on and I can only give so much advice :) My advice is short, to the point, and I KNOW 99% of the time probably going in one ear and out the other. But I don't let it bother me! It is what it is and I just "shelf it" when the encounter with the negative person is done.

I have a LOT of practice with this.

I'm a positive influence on others and have practiced and learned how to live independently in a positive manner while maintaining key relationships with those I love. Like anything, practice practice practice! :)

I love being me.


Blogger Heather said...

Please email me! I have a question about your blog! :)

12:23 PM  

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