Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

One Word

The way I've been feeling this week can be summed up into one small word: Tired. To further elaborate, I'm EXHAUSTED. I don't know what's happening, I'm sleeping terribly! I wake up half way through the the night and either start thinking, get hungry or feel achy. Flipping from one side to the other takes serious WORK. This belly is heavy! It doesn't help that half of my body falls asleep (numb) every couple of hours FORCING me to flip. I just lie there waiting for my alarm to ring. Yesterday I got up and went to work early (and my co-workers were SHOCKED to see me). Half way through the day I can't even read the screen on my computer. I have no motivation to be here, not getting any work done. How many more weeks of this?

I did go do something nice last night, I went to aquafitness!!! It was soooo much fun and the other three girls in the class were super! They were chatty and friendly, I had such a good time. We had to do some deep water stuff and everyone used flutter boards but the instructor made me use TWO pool noodles so I wouldn't lose my balance. I can't wait to go back next week. It didn't seem like a tough work-out but man oh man I'm hurting today! I got a decent sleep considering the sleeps of late but nothing near my usual konk outs. I could have bailed, both Tammy and Bonnie couldn't make it (back problems, no bathing suit) but I'm determined to not gain too much more weight. I hope my efforts have paid off. I find out next Tuesday how much I've gained this week. If it's another huge number I think I'll die. It's been a MONTH since I had an ice cream! Wait no, I've had two. STILL, I went from one a day to TWO in one month! I need a good result or I fear I'll feel this "suffering" hasn't been worth it. I so rarely ate ice cream before I got pregnant. So wierd.

My cousin is coming into town this weekend from New Jersey. Should be a fun weekend! I think I'll take her shopping on Sunday and Sunday evening we're having a girl-cousins-dinner at my Aunt's place. The menu is Fondue. YUUUUUM. I hope we can find the cheese to make it because I'm on a cheese kick. Believe it or not I could go without the chocolate! I'm bringing my camera to take some pictures, keep an eye out next week.

Oh! We decided on the theme for our nursery, Under The Sea! We bought these cute underwater animals at Ikea, 2 "star fish" lamps, an underwater theme curtain, fish stickers, fish mobile, an aquarium toy for the crib, an aquarium monitor and have already seen some crib sets and border paper on Ebay that would be awesome! Next thing is to paint, maybe we'll do that easter weekend. I'll post progress pictures as we get things ready.

For My Darling Baby Girl: I'm sorry for the shaking yesterday. Brittney (9) and Madison (5) wanted to feel you move and I was trying to wake you up. Of course the girls thought it was hilarious and had to shake you as well. I was all paranoid that I killed ya or something but you've been kicking me today so I guess you're not too upset (or dead). I only realised that I could have hurt you when the aquafitness lady told me to not perform the jumping moves. Doh!

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