Big Countdown #1 - 2 1/2 days

The first of two big countdowns is almost over. In 2 1/2 days I'm done with work for at LEAST 7 months. I don't think I can put my feelings on this into words. I've been working full time since I was 17 years old. The most time I've ever had off in a row was 3 weeks. My vacation before my due date is 4 weeks! I'm excited beyond belief.

In preparation for the vacation I've purchased three books, a birthing book, breast feeding book and a child rearing book. It's going to be all baby thoughts with sleeping in. I can't help it.

Can I just say this past weekend was really and truely great. That's two weekends in a row! This one was different though, it was about Corey and I. Saturday we went to visit with some friends. They have an adorable 3 year old girl and seeing Corey with her melted my heart. He's going to be such a wonderful Daddy. We played my favourite game of all time, Mario Party! I'm so tempted to buy Game Cube just so I can play this game whenever I want but can't justify it, we have PS2.

Sunday we woke up and decided we would go to the Barrie Automotive Flea Market even though Corey's poor truck Henry is still in the shop. When we arrived and he saw all the old classic cars on display he was so sad, he really wanted to show off his baby. That was about the only downer of the day however. I don't know what we expected, car parts everywhere? What we got was the biggest freakin garage sale EVER! There were rows and rows of people selling all knids of STUFF. I mean everything. Sure 50% of it was car parts but that left 50% STUFF! Corey and I were so excited once we realized this and we spent 4 1/2 hours picking over other people's junk. We didn't buy too much, some grandma/grandpa t-shirts for Samantha, a $2 bag of used lighters (we went back for more but couldn't find them), a model airplane made of Coors Light beer cans, a car charger for $1 (that didn't work). We took a few breaks to eat (junk!) and the best place to take a break was at the Beer tent (lucky Corey!). They had a live band, 50/50 draw. The atmosphere was very "country" and we felt right at home. My feet KILLED and I got a nasty sunburn on my neck, all worth it.

After the flea market we headed out onto the country roads to look for this friends cottage. He's selling a convertable Cavalier for cheap so Corey wanted to check it out. The drive was gorgeous and we talked and talked. We even stopped at this nice little side of the road home made furniture place to see if they had baby change tables. They didn't but they had so many nice trinkets. We found the cottage after a couple of hours and it happened to be right near Wasaga Beach so after we saw the car Corey took me for the five cent tour. The beach was really beautiful and the water looked so inviting. The "strip" though was geared for the young teenage crowd, quite the experience. I teased Corey about how he must've been all over the ladies when he partied there as a teenager. We decided to take the back roads home after stopping for a half a sub and then Dairy Queen. I ended up spilling half my banana split all over my pants much to the amusement of Corey. It was seriously one of my best days. It felt great to just be alone with Corey and it's nice to know we were able to do that before the baby was born.

I suffered through Monday, tired, burnt and a little nauseaus. I might have over done it a little with all the walking.

Yesterday I had a GREAT doctors appointment. Samantha has turned!!! She's ready to drop into the birth canal whenever she's ready. He said she's about 6 lbs. and I've done a good job feeding her. My blood pressure was perfect and the doctor said he'd love to see me every day. I have had a text book pregnancy, I'm so very lucky.

Birthing class was both fun and sad. It started out sad for me. Someone asked about maternity leave and how long we should take. I seem to be the luckiest because I have the 4 weeks vacation. The topic evolved into how much time the dads were taking and then into if our Mom's would be there to help afterwards. As soon as she asked the question I turned to Corey and my eyes filled with tears. I didn't know what I was going to say when she asked me and he could see the panic in my eyes. I managed to choke out a small yes when her eyes met mine but then she launched into a story about a client of hers who called crying in despiration. She told us the client was having a hard time in the first few days alone and had recently lost her own mother. Well that was it for me, I told Corey I needed to get out of there and went to the bathroom for a good cry. It was in the bathroom that I realized that yesterday was exactly 6 months from the day she died. I cried it out, blew my nose and left the washroom. Corey was waiting outside the washroom and gave me a big hug. We returned to the room together and everyone was looking at me but I didn't say anything and the class continued.

You think you're doing fine, you think you're "over it" and then wham. Even today I feel sad. The closer I get to having my little girl the more I think about her and how she'll never know her granddaughter. I have so many questions about my own birth, my own infant life and no one to fill in the answers. I'll be ok though, I'm going to be the best Mommy I can be.

Back to the class. We really learned a lot yesterday! About what we'll be going through after delivery, the first few days home with baby. Corey had to burp a doll and then practice swaddling the doll in front of the class. The Dad's were so cute! Once again we felt really good because she asked about the Dad's bonding with the baby and Corey was the only one who really has. All the other Dad's said their baby "didn't like them" and "never moved when they touched them". Corey sat right up and when it was our turn to answer if we massaged the baby he was so proud that he did and that she knew his voice. The teacher told all the other dads in a very concerned voice that they need to bond with the baby.

When we went to bed last night he sang her the ABC's twice and talked her through a hiccup spell. When I asked him if he loved me this morning he said no, he has a new love named Sam. My heart melted! Of course at the end of the conversation he said "I love you", like he always does.

For My Darling Baby Girl: We are getting more and more excited to meet you! We're also worried you're too comfortable in there, you do seem to love your butt massages! That's right, all this time Mommy thought she was rubbing and talking to your head when it's been your BUTT! Silly Mommy. You do like to push that little tush right into me though, and you're so strong! We're going to finish your room up this weekend. We found the perfect dresser/change table and that's the last thing we need. We're ready whenever you are sweetheart!