Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day

I have felt so turned off by commercialism lately. I don't know why I suddenly feel this way, aware. Aware of how industries are trying to suck the money out of us. Aware of the messages being sent out in commercials that claim "Tell your woman she's spectacular with our spectacular diamonds", for only $169.00! WTF? Maybe it's because we're in our new home, happy, safe, cozy...and "poor" (someone said I'm not poor, my money is just all tyed up right now - I like that). Maybe it's because when we moved we threw out so much JUNK. So many little trinkets and tokens that had lost their meaning. Maybe that made me ask myself how quickly a little stuffed bear loses it's meaning. Heck, I asked myself how quickly a diamond necklace would lose it's meaning and with me, it wasn't much longer than the bear. Then the cards, omg the stack of cards that I threw out. I had to think about that one, do I need to pass these along to my daughter? Then I started reading them, the generic messages with a signature scrawled across the bottom. Did you know that ready made cards were invented during a period in time where expressing your emotions was disscouraged?

I don't know. Maybe it's the hormones. I just feel like I want to make this a lot more special for my family. More about celebrating love, expressing emotion. Sam is too young for it all right now, so I ask myself, should I give her a bear? Because how else will I mark this event for her? She's too young to make her own cards, too young to bake etc. The commercialism is so ingraned in our brains that I'm even doubting myself because of the guilt.

And then come the inevitable questions of "what did Corey get you". I tell the asker that we're not celebrating with gifts and they give you this "uh hunh, he's too cheap eh" or "guess someone is in trouble for forgetting" look.

But wait. I SHOULD NOT CARE what others think. As Sam gets older the holidays will be more and more special, I should look forward to this, to baking and making cards. Tonight, I should just enjoy the "special supper" we're going to have. Maybe then we'll go for a walk, take Sam out in her sled. Have a fire going in the fire place.

I'm not buying into it anymore commercialism! Watch out Easter, you're next!

Darn it, spell check isn't working lol.

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