Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Friday, July 28, 2006

I'm A Baby Wearer

Things are going good. Daniel leaves tomorrow and it's been a nice quiet visit. I don't think he minds as much as I thought he would. He gets to play on the computer all day, eat as much as he wants and stay up until whenever he wants :) We took him shopping for some new clothes and sandals, he visited the neighbours kid, went to hockey with Corey and went swimming at a friends pool yesterday. I usually took him to Canada's Wonderland, Ontario Science Centre etc. but I can't leave the house for too long with a nursing baby. It's stressful going to Walmart and worrying about her waking up to eat!

The breastfeeding is still a challenge. I'm still supplementing with formula and I hate it. I just don't feel like it's helping. So there's a plan, after Daniel leaves I'm taking a "nursing vacation". That means staying in bed for a few days and feeding constantly. I have to increase my milk supply. I'm also meeting a friend on Tuesday and borrowing her pump. The cheapo one I bought broke on day 2. I'll buy the parts that milk have touched and use her pump. Any way I can save $$$ at this point. I'm on unemployment now! I'm also determined to make this work :)

Samantha LOVES her sling. It's great for me too, I can eat, play on the computer, walk around, with my pretty princess strapped to my chest. She's a warm little bugger but it's so wonderful. I can just bend my head down and kiss her cute face whever I want. She also moves around and snuggles right into me. I'm an official baby wearer. I must remember to take a picture and post it.

Corey just got in with my greek take out. Better go eat before she wakes!!!

For My Darling Baby Girl: On Monday it's just you and me kid. No more Grandma, no more Uncle Daniel. It's just us for the first time. I'm warning you though, you're going to eat from the boob, so it might not be the easy time we've been having when your belly is filled with formula. Give it time, I'm going to suffer too!!!

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Here's the story: was suposed to go get gel on Monday evening. They got too busy and told me to hold off on coming in for the induction and wait for a call. Those were the LONGEST hours of my life! Finally was called in at around 1:30pm. Got checked in, got room, was checked and had progressed to 2cm and still "thick" (my childbirth class teacher would be so dissapointed that I didn't use my big words, station and efaced). She said I was progressed enough to skip the gel though and proceeded to break my waters. I was shocked and paniced a BIT. Walked for an hour before they started the Oxytocin. They started it at 4:30pm on the 11th. From then until midnight I had mild regular contractions, played cards, danced around breathing through the contractions and tapped into someone's free wireless internet, life was great! At midnight the doctor came back for another check and I hadn't progressed!!!! Then she goes "didn't I break your waters?" and grabs her needles again. This time it was Niagara Falls and soooo different. Things really started happening then including a trip to the bathroom where I almost whiped out because I leaked all over the floor (the nurse had to get a MOP). I asked Corey to get some rest and breathed through HORRIBLE contractions. At 3:30am I asked for the epidural. I was good to go by 4am! Thing was, I still felt a lot of pressure and pain, I couldn't sleep at all. The hard edge was taken off though and even with an uppage in dosage I still felt every contraction with back pain and tons of pressure. At around 6am they checked again and I was 9cm! Things happened quickly from there and at 7:43am I started pushing. With the pushing too I felt EVERYTHING but without the hard edge. I really liked that because I felt like I had control over what I was doing and really worked hard. I used a lot of the techniques I read about in Ina May's Guide To Childbirth.
Samantha Catherine Belle was born at 8:43am on Wednesday July 12, 8lbs 4oz, 20inches. Daddy says she came out looking around and I even overheard a resident say she had never seen a baby come out like that. She's so alert and I instantly fell in love. I asked for skin to skin contact and she latched all on her own. It was incredible. One second I'm asking the nurse what I'm going to do now and she said she'd show me how to latch in a bit. She turned her back and Samantha found her nipple all on her own! It was so amazing.
Breastfeeding since has been a bit of a challenge. She had a bit of borderline jaundice as well so we had to be super careful and ended up having to supplement with a bit of formula. We're using this tube thing though so my boobs are still getting stimulated and the milk will come. Friday we go to the clinic again and will find out if she needs to be supplemented any more.
I've got a pretty good sleeper on my hands I must say. The last two nights she's slept for 6 hours in a row! Then she'll wake up for an hour to feed and go back to sleep for another 2 hours. I'm still tired throughout the day though, don't know why. Maybe my body got used to 11+ hours sleep every night lol.
Here are pictures of my "Pretty Princess".
Her First Picture
My Little Cherub

Mom and Samantha

Dad and Samantha
My Little Diva
For My Darling Baby Girl: You're finally here! I can't explain how happy we are, and how in love we feel with you! Even when you spit up or throw up on us, it's "amazing". I hope you don't go blind with all the camera flashes :) We're going a BIT nuts. Can't help it, you're TOO CUTE!

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Quick Update

Samantha Catherine Belle Long was born on Wednesday July 12th at 8:43am. I have this HUGE post saved because I'm unable to upload pictures. Keep watching for it, I'll try as often as I can get on the computer.

She's a cutie and a LOT of work :)

Thursday, July 06, 2006

An End In Sight

Well today I had my 40week 2 Day appointment and because I'm overdue they did an internal. I'm 1 cm dialated but still very "thick" so she said still quite a long way off. She said she'd stimulate things so I think she stripped my membranes and I also had a bit of "show". That itself was exciting!

Then she said they would need to schedule the induction because they don't let you go longer than 41 weeks because the placenta starts breaking down. I have a non-stress test scheduled for Saturday (they'll monitor the heartbeat and do an ultrasound) and then if nothing happens I go in Monday night for the "gel" and Tuesday morning at 7:30am to be induced.

Yesterday I was SO READY for this, so why am I freaking out???

For My Darling Baby Girl: This time next week, I'll be holding you in my arms. Just thinking about it makes me choke up a little.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Plus One

No baby yet.

I took a nice long walk today, I hope that works!

Might try spicy food tomorrow as per my comments. Scared of the heartburn though!

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Today Is My "Due Date"

If one more person walks through that door and says "Did you have the baby yet?" I'm going to punch them. Yes, I did. You saw me yesterday but somewhere in between then and now I delivered a baby, brought her home and oh yea, that BIG MASSIVE BUMP still under my shirt? That's a figment of your imagination. Ugh.

I'm still pregnant, I'm miserable and everyone better stay back.

For My Darling Baby Girl: We are just SO READY now. Please please please come.

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