Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Tuesday, August 29, 2006

I just can't resist

I didn't want to have one of those blogs with a million pictures of my kid....oh well :) I just got some pics that are TOO CUTE and I can't resist.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

Six Weeks Already!

Yea. She's gorgeous :) And she's ALL MINE!!! I'm having a good day, can you tell?

It's been a few good weeks now actually. Baby is eating well, has started smiling and plays independently for a few minutes every day. We've been going to programs at the Ontario Early Years Centre, it's nice to get out. Tomorrow we're going to see a movie. She's 6 weeks old tomorrow and we'll be seeing "World Trade Center". I know, you'd think a kids first movie would be something Disney or something animated, but this is a special movie for mom's and babies. Samantha won't remember this event, heck she doesn't even know she has hands yet, and Mommy likes getting out into the real world :)

On Thursday we're going to go to work. Believe it or not, after all that belly aching, I miss the place. There's only so much daytime TV a girl can take before she misses work I guess. I'm not saying that I want to go back tomorrow, I love being with my baby. She's just at an age where there's not much I can do with her. All the other mom's with older babies say to enjoy this stage. When she gets bigger she sleeps less (meaning I sleep less), moves around more (won't stay where I put her) and needs a lot more of my attention (right now she's in her chair sleeping and I'm on the computer!). She's also sooo tiny and cute! Oh and only Mommy can quiet her down sometimes :) I love that feeling, when she finally quiets for me after no one else can settle her.

The only issue has been with the Mother In Law. She is driving me NUTS. She wants to badly to help with the baby but I'm feeling a bit selfish and don't ALWAYS want to give her up. We live with the in-laws so they're around her every day and if my MIL had her way, Samantha would be with her every second that she's home from work. She'd be giving her a bottle every night, singing (off key to boot), talking to her constantly...ok ok so in writing it doesn't seem so bad, but when you're me and she's her, it's ANNOYING. I'm so used to my own space, living with them is getting to me. I'm trying to convince Corey to move to New Brunswick immediately. We've applied for a job, well I helped Corey apply for a job. It's a long shot, he's not qualified for the job, but we're hoping he gets an interview! Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me.

For My Darling Baby Girl: I want to bottle your cuteness up. Your smile gets wider and wider every day. You're a happy baby, I hope you're always this happy. I feel so lucky to be the one who helps make you that way!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

One Month

I've been a Mommy for an entire month. Wow. Time flies eh?

Thing are going much much better. I'm 100% breastfeeding (yay!). I finally just said NO MORE FORMULA and completely cut it out. It just wasn't right. I didn't feel right about giving it to her because it would make her sleep more and she wasn't getting the supply, so how could my milk increase? So I went to my favourite message board and they suggested I take a "nursing vacation". Basically I stayed in bed with her for a couple of days and just let her eat and eat. Oh and I also started eating oatmeal every day. It worked!!! She eats like a champ now. Heck she even spits up (who thought I'd ever be happy to be spit up on). She poops, pee's....everything is good. On Monday we find out how much weight she'd gained, the last "worry".

I'm still wearing her ALL THE TIME. In fact, if she's not eating she's passed out on me. I love it but her Grandma doesn't. She tried watching her tonight and baby just cried and cried. Grandma is a bit too big for this pouch, I might see if I can get another one that's bigger so she can wear her. It's the last hurdle because she will take a bottle. Grandma is SOOOOO dissapointed, it breaks my heart, but she'll have lots of opportunities when she's older to watch her!

We've been venturing out a bit more now that we know how to settle her. I've looked into some programs and we start them next week. I'll be singing songs with her, learning to massage her, stuff like that. It's so nice to get out and be among the living. This house is big but not THAT big and the days do get quite lonely.

Development wise people tell me she's bigger (I'm with her 24/7 so I don't notice anything), she's more alert for longer periods now, I swear she smiled at me the other day for REAL and she's focusing in on toys and stuff. Not much, the books say things will really get exciting this month.

For My Darling Baby Girl: I am so in love with you. Right now you're sleeping away on my chest and I smile every time you make a noise. I kiss you a lot too, you better get used to it. Feeling you snuggle into me the way you do is the best feeling in the world. I've never felt so lucky.

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