Post Traumatic Growth 101

From traumatic beginings to "normal life", choosing to grow and wanting to empower others. This is my story.

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Stronger and Stronger We Grown - When Does It Stop? Never.

It's funny, I've been having some feelings lately...about a relationship I have continued to invest in. These thoughts are negative and I come here to blog about it and my last post SCREAMS at me. Haven't you figured out how to navigate crazy? Haven't you let go?

Yes. But it's still taking work to let go, because I can't just stop the relationship.

I'm extremely proud of the work I'm doing in my relationships - especially with my Grampa. Our time has come and I'm taking the opportunity to strengthen the relationship because my Grampa is being so open to it, he's being supportive and responding positively to my efforts.

Yet I continue to hear negativity and doubts from others within the family, and I continue to let this affect me. Why? I just re-read my last post....why can't I just let go. When people say negative things about my efforts, I feel anxious about what I'm doing...and when I think about it, it's because I don't want to hear the inevitable "I told you so", if I fail.

Why do I continue to care about these people? Why do I continue to let them affect me? EVERYONE else in my life is being encouraging, "what a wonderful thing you're doing", "so what if it doesn't work out, you tried girl", "what's the harm in trying?" "you're doing this to strengthen a relationship, how can you fail?"

I'm learning to take the supportive people and surround myself with them, they're my bricks. Family might be the foundation, but a foundation sometimes needs to be replaced. I guess I need to understand that I can't replace the foundation all at once but it's going to be a piece by piece process. Letting go isn't going to be as easy as saying you're going to do it and voila it's much as I want it to.

“Not only is it possible to have a great relationship even after growing up in difficult circumstances, but the pain of our past experience can actually become the motivation that drives our commitment to do the work that is necessary to create the kind of fulfillment that we were denied as a child.”

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